Benjamin Dixon's Birth Story

Happy July all! Are we all quite sick of the rain?

Here's Ben's birth story. I hope you enjoy it. Thank you to everyone who supported us on the journey.

The Birth Story of Benjamin Dixon Pfannenstiel
This birth of a child is a totally overwhelming experience. No matter how that child comes out, so much hope, dreams, fears and anxiety meet the reality that birth is beyond our control.
Benjamin’s birth story picks up where Zachary’s left off. C section recovery, trouble breastfeeding and a stressful return to work all created a huge level of anxiety over the plan for baby #2.
However, plan we did and come September 2008 I was pregnant again! Hoorah! I immediately started planning for a Vaginal Birth After Cesarean (VBAC). VBACs are not common in America and many hospitals and doctors will not attend one. Unfortunately, the obstetrician who handled Zach’s birth was one of them.
So at 28 weeks I found new practioners in a midwife practice down the Shore. The midwife model of obstetrical care is much more aligned with the idea that pregnancy is a healthy process and pregnant women are not sick. My midwives assuaged so many fears I had about labor. We spoke extensively about how my labor with Ben could be different than my labor with Zach.
While so much is beyond our control, some things exist in pregnancy we can control. One of the things I strove to control was the pain of labor. Many women with good reasons choose to use drugs during pregnancy. I really think the epidural I received with Zach was one of many interventions that lead to my Cesarean. As an alternative Andrew and I used Hypnobabies hypnobirthing. These techniques reminded me that I could mentally control the pain using breathing and word cues. For example, in the timeline below, contractions are called birthing waves. I know it sounds goofy, but what can I say? It worked.
Laboring without drugs includes other components too. Mom must stay strong in her upper and lower body. There fore,I worked hard throughout my third trimester in the garden pulling, planting, moving dirt, and squatting with the end goal of balanced, long term strength. I also walked with Zach all over Freehold. Another hindrance to my labor with Zach was back labor. It was important to do everything I could to keep Ben’s position correct (his spine to my belly). Ergo I did not recline for the last 10 weeks of pregnancy. No Lazy Boy, no piling pillows behind me in bed, sitting up straight at all times. All that work was tiring and not being able to recline afterwards seemed cruel, but, Ben stayed in the correct position!
So we were all set to go and just needed Ben to decide to relocate. I had contractions for almost a week before I gave birth. They would be tolerable during the day, increase in the evening and then peter out over night. Until they didn’t. The rest of the story is the timeline of what happened.
0330 on Sunday morning I was up with insomnia and various things happened that indicated that birthing was imminent. I started having birthing waves and woke Andrew up to help me with them for a bit. Soon I felt I could handle them pretty well, so I lay down, put on a Hypnobabies cd and fell asleep.

When I woke up and the birthing waves were not as strong as they had been in the wee hours and I figured it would be ANOTHER day of pro-dromal labor. Well, the morning progressed, and the waves didn't go away. We called my parents over, and my doula thinking something might be happening. I spent the afternoon having birthing waves but they were pretty irregular, but getting more intense.

Seeing as things were going nowhere fast we ate dinner . I decided to ask everyone to go home because by that point, I was feeling like a performing monkey between timing them and trying to keep up conversation through them.

And wow. Once Zach was in bed, and everyone was gone the waves really ramped up. We labored at home from 5-10pm. When I was making more and more noise (though no screaming) we called the midwife and my doula and decided that once the doula got to our house, we'd evaluate if it was time to go to the hospital.

Well, since Dorothy was 30m away, the decision was made by the time she got there. I couldn't pee without a wave, and I'd started puking my guts out. It wouldn’t be a pregnancy experience for me without nausea!

We left for the hospital with the doula waited for my parents at my house so Zach wouldn't be alone. We arrived at the hospital at 2330. The ob resident did an exam and declared me 6cm dilated! The first step in avoiding drugs was reached. It would be very odd to have an epidural at 6cm.

They admitted me, moved me to a room and things got going! As part of my preparing for labor, I had been working with our big yoga ball. In truth, towards the end of my pregnancy the yoga ball was the only thing I could sit on comfortably. However, in the ward there was only a wee birthing ball for me to sit on. Thankfully, we had prepared for this and Andrew ended up getting ours out of the car (best decision EVER to bring it with us).

The midwife showed up, the doula showed up, and I tried to work on my Hypnobabies techniques through my birthing waves. It worked for a very long time. I wouldn't say I was comfortable, but I was certainly able to cope at the edge of my tolerance.

Time passed. I moved around. I puked. My midwife checked me and I was 8cm. Time passed. I labored on my hands and knees. I puked some more. And then some more.

Midwife checked again and pronounced me 9cm and I should consider breaking my waters. Totally placing my trust in her, and figuring that this was the first step to a c-section that I felt was inevitable, I said ok.

She ruptured the membranes at 0343 and I had an immediate birthing wave on my back. YEGADS. So after interminably LONG period of time it subsided and I was back on my hands and knees. And with every wave I would grab my doula's hands and essentially lean back in child's pose while Andrew used the massager (one of those four pronged ones with a handle) on my lower back. And I am pretty sure I was trying to say "peace" and "release" and thinking all of the Hypnobirthing stuff while really thinking about pushing and how this was never in fact going to end, that I had been here for hours and I was never leaving and going to be like this for the rest of my life.

And then my midwife said "lets get the squat bar, so you can really start pushing"

To which I wailed "but what HAVE I been doing" I was pushing with everything I had!!

So we got the squat bar out (note, it doesn't work ANYTHING like I thought. You hook your armpits over it or your elbows and hang from those; I guess I thought it was your hands). And they dropped the bottom of the bed and I started squatting. And immediately my feet started slipping off. I really don't think those things are designed for tall women (I'm 5'8"). So they fixed some things and we tried again.

So I squatted and pushed with each wave. Forever. At some point my doula says "look at that, they think there's going to be a baby here soon"

To which I thought in my mind "whose?" But I didn’t say anything because I thought they would think I was joking and send me home. I know that makes no sense, but really, the whole birthing process makes no sense. And I'd push, and the midwife would say "ok, even harder now" and my voice would drop, and I'd find some air somewhere in my lungs and push even harder

And then catch my breath

And do it again and again and again

And then all of a sudden, out came this red little baby and my midwife handed him to me and kinda shoved me back on the bed.

And there he was. And the nurse called out the time 0414.

And there he was! And they stitched me up (long 2nd degree tear) and I looked at the placenta (looks nothing like a horse placenta) at some point we got a good latch. And we rested and ate lactation cookies and drank approximately 9000 sips of water.

And I got up and walked around the corner to the maternity ward babbling about my 9# 4 ounce VBAC to the nurses, residents, janitors, walls, with this big dopey grin!